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Saturday, March 20, 2004

  Bishop Displays Absolute Inability to See Irony of Statement

I laughed out loud at this. I shouldn't have, but I have a perverse sense of humor.

I was looking at azcentral.com to see if by some editorial oversight they had printed my email in re: the ridiculous vice-Mayor of Mesa's op-ed piece. While there, I spotted this headline:

Bishop Seeks Probation

The article opens thusly:

Bishop Thomas J. O'Brien acknowledged for the first time publicly Friday that he feels responsible for the hit-and-run death of a pedestrian last summer.

But he implored a judge to sentence him to probation so he can "continue to serve the church and the community."


OK, Christian Charity demands that I love and pray for this poor man, who presided over the liturgical and catechetical destruction of the Diocese of Phoenix , covered for abusing priests, and then hit a man with the diocesan Buick and drove off. I'm working on it ("Just Do It" is sometimes an excellent slogan for acts of Charity as well as sneakers).

But, I think it is not outside the bounds of Charity to be able to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the statement above. I mean, if his actions as bishop are to be taken as normative of his behavior and his ideas of how to serve the church and community, wouldn't it be a greater service if the judge just locked him up?


Friday, March 19, 2004

  The Vice-Mayor has a Conniption

A correspondant friend of mine sent me a link to an article on the azcentral.com web site. It is an op-ed piece by the Vice-mayor of Mesa, AZ, Dennis Kavanaugh.

It seems the Vice-mayor is somewhat dismayed at the return of the Latin Mass in the Diocese of Phoenix.

The article is an absolute screamer from a to z. A perfect weaving of popular mistaken opinion and progressive head-in-the-clouds, isn't-everything-getting-better-and-more-inclusive-and-more-socially-just delusion as to the meaning of Vat2 and the "reforms" of the 60's and 70's.

I then read Dom's take on the piece, and he inspired me to write a little missive to the azcentral people.

Here is the text of that email:

"I have just finished reading Dennis Kavanaugh's piece on Bishop Ohlmsted's recent decision to allow the Latin Mass to be said in his diocese.

"With all due respect to his vice-honor, it is a fairly vapid, nonsensical response to the bishop's action.

"First, the Second Vatican Council never stated that all liturgy in the Western Church should be said in the vernacular. In fact, the document Sacrosanctum Concilium states that the vernacular may be used in some cases, but that Latin should remain the ordinary language of the liturgy. If Mr. Kavanaugh would have taken the time to actually read the documents of the council he cited, he could have avoided this gross factual error.

"Also, his statement that 'Conservative groups such as Opus Dei have infiltrated the clergy in many communities and are subtly wielding power to influence many of these changes,' smacks of paranoid conspiracy theorizing. Where have these nefarious, ecclesial black-helicopter-types infiltrated? Does he know any such infiltrators, or is he making a generalization based on excerpts of The DaVinci Code?

"As someone who grew up in the 60's and 70's, I would also dispute the assertion that these decades were a "renaissance" for the Catholic Church. People left the Church in droves during this "renaissance", whether from bad catechesis or just aesthetic disgust at all the orange and brown abstract art that was produced by this blooming time of rebirth, I don't know. If one must wax poetic about those decades, the best one could hope for is some synonym for "transition" or even "liberation". But "renaissance"? That may be too revisionist by half.

"Lastly, I find it interesting that a man who lists Jimmy Carter as the person he most admires would be upset at the inclusion of a Latin Mass. Is this not diversity? Doesn't it increase the overall "church experience" to have the mass in not just English and Spanish, but also Latin?

"Increasing liturgical diversity might not be a groundbreaking, highly effective diplomatic endeavor like his honor's hero Mr. Carter performed in such places as North Korea, Cuba, or in helping to put President Aristide in power in Haiti, but the bishop is not a great statesman like the former President from Georgia. He can only hope that his efforts at expanding the liturgical horizons of the Diocese of Phoenix might meet with the same kind of resounding success as Mr. Carter's diplomatic efforts around the globe.


"Thank you for taking the time to read my email, [etc, etc]"

Not my best work, but it was late. I stole Dom's DaVinci line, but he has absolved me any charges of plagiarism.

The Jimmy Carter thing was kind of a reach, but I couldn't not take a poke at that being the person he most admires (please see this and this for a graphic tour of Mista Cahta's diplomatic triumphs).

I agree with the oft expressed sentiment that this sort of wailing and gnashing of teeth is generally a good sign. There's nothing so quickening to a Catholic as when one of the progressive nudniks who assisted in the deconstruction of the Church laments that the only people who still care about Her are the ones who actually believe in all the stuff they have tried to jettison. Rigid young priests. Deluded, masochistic laypeople yearning to be patriarchally oppressed. Neanderthalic bishops who want to reinstitute the inquisition and start warming the episcopal residence with copies of the Collected Poems and Reflections of Sister Joan Chittister.

Well, good news for Phoenix. This Olmsted fellow seems to know what he is about.


Tuesday, March 09, 2004

  Now this is a good quiz

While doing a quiz in re: What cartoon dog are you? (Peabody, by the way), linked by the Summas, I came across the following - What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?

My Result:

Is here. Due to some blue language, and because my wife insists that I keep the profanity down on the blog, I'll just give you the link to my result - Krusty the Clown.

Krusty is one of my absolute favs. Nothing is funnier than the "Jazz Singer" episode where we learn that Krusty is the son of a Rabbi (at the Simpsons' house, he says the traditional Hebrew meal blessing, to which Homer comments, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, he's talking funny!"). The scene where Rabbi Hyman Krustofski walks in on his son doing illicit clown practice in his room is priceless.

Looking over the possible results, I realized that the Simpsons has created more hilarious, archetypically right on characters than any show in history. I need to see if I can get the "golden years" on DVD.


Monday, March 08, 2004

  Do you believe in hard work and hockey demagoguery? YES!

My review of Miracle is up at Popcorn Critics.


Friday, March 05, 2004

  The Great Leader Presumptive

If you needed any reason NOT to vote for John Kerry, READ THIS STORY.

It's nice that these paragons of Far East journalistic impartiality have given us a clear contrast between the candidates.


Wednesday, March 03, 2004

  Great reports from the Lowest of the Fiery Depths!

That wacky demon Moloch has started a blog that has lots of interesting inside 411 on how good modern times are for the child-devouring horned one.

The voter guide is particularly helpful.

Drop by and see what is going on at the spiritual center of the Culture of Death!


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